If you’re anything like me (hopefully you’re not too much like, ala some sort of evil clone) you can get pretty fired up about your opinions. It’s even worse when the argument is online, because you can’t see the person, so you don’t need to think of them as a human who deserves a certain base level of respect and courtesy, which means you can say HORRIBLE things to them. I find that the discourse tends to get more and more shameful the more it looks like I am losing my argument. This is when I resort to certain tactics to try to squeak out a win via underhanded methods. AND AS MY GIFT TO YOU here are 7 Ways People Try To Win Internet Arguments (That They Are Clearly Losing):
Ad Hominem Attacks
This is a tactic most often employed against feminists, or any other group trying to fix social inequality. It has to be employed so much because anyone who tries to insist sexism isn’t engrained in our society is pretty easily proven wrong, so it usually turns into "Why would I listen to someone who’s so ugly?" I’ve cleaned the language up on that one (A LOT, trust me) but you get the idea. If you can’t discredit the idea, make the person feel so bad about themselves they stop yelling the truth at you.
Challenging You To A Fight
This one is fascinating because, unless you’re arguing with someone you live with, it requires at least a little bit of trouble. I’ve had people become so incensed with me, they’ve promised to pay for airfare so they could come from out of state to "kick [my] ass". The temptation to publish my home address on the internet just to see if he was willing to put his money where his mouth is was more than I’d like to admit.
Wishing/Promising Violence Unto You
The even-unhappier cousin to the last item, this one is more disturbing because not only is someone hoping/threatening/promising you will be physically hurt a terrifying thing to read, the threats are almost always INCREDIBLY specific, sometimes down to dates and times. It’s pretty clear what the thinking behind this tactic is, to intimidate someone into being quiet. Because I don’t want to incite the perpetrator further, I usually respond with something like "you don’t have the guts" or "Bring it on, ya’ big puss’. " That always smoothes things over.
Jesus
"You’re wrong because of Jesus. " – Some people on the internet. "Well, I guess you’re right, who am I to argue with the ‘son of God’? " – No one on the internet, ever.
Criticizing Spelling Mistakes
Oh, did I spell "restauraunt(sp?) " wrong? Did I use "your" instead of "you’re"? That’s too bad, I guess it just proves that everyone makes mistakes, like you did when you mistakenly WERE WRONG ABOUT THIS ENTIRE ARGUMENT WE’VE BEEN HAVING. If I wrote "Fvie plus five equl ten" I would be no less wrong than if I hadn’t spelled it wrong, because of my bad public school (Canadian, no less) education.
Links To Crazy Websites
Oh, the fellas over at BarackObamaIsALizard.gov (how did they get the ".gov"?) have published something that backs all your statements up? Well, say no more, everything I’ve said is retracted, because you’re clearly an insane person with some dangerous pals.
Straight Up Lying
This be anything from "I know this is true, I just can’t find the site I saw it on" to "My brother is gay and said it’s fine to make those kinds of jokes", people will literally just start making things up to try to come up out of an argument with at least a draw. PLEASE NOTE: This one also applies to Presidential Campaigns.
Think, I’m wrong?! Come at me bro! Let us know in the comments!
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